Guest Blogger : 10 unconventional parenting gifts : Freaky Fridays – Weekly Blog

Money, real estate, gold are cliched. Here are 10 non-monetary assets that we could will to our children

Folks – starting this week, guest bloggers will be contributing to this blog to share different perspectives on various topics. So if you are someone is passionate about writing on anything under the sun in a simple and non-technical topic, please get in touch with me.

This week’s guest blogger is Preeti Iyer. She is a content specialist in the financial services domain. She has written blogs on topics such as parenting, philanthropy, and spirituality. She also reviews books and occasionally dabbles in poetry.

Today’s blog is on one of my favorite topics- parenting. Here you go

Ten unconventional bequeathals for the coming generations

The first cry! And we are hit by a mixed bag of emotions – tears of joy, overwhelmed by the arrival of a new member, sleepless nights to follow, moments of anxiety, host of responsibilities, and the list is endless. The baby, which has just tiptoed into our lives, needs our full attention and time, and needs to be nourished, educated, and reared, and taught the right ways to lead his/her life.

We open several piggy banks for the most precious jewel in our crown, in the form of fixed deposits, systematic investment plans, children’s education plans, and invest in long-term assets, including gold, property, and equities… all this to ensure that every need that can be envisaged, right from infancy, toddlerhood, basic and higher education, medical insurance, teenage, marriage, and last but not the least, inheritance. 

But hang on!!! If you bequeath a crore of rupees as cash, or a mausoleum of a house for your child, does that mean you have topped the University of Parenting? Maybe you have provided for every potential need of your offspring, but how does this ensure his/her evolution into a knowledgeable, talented, creative, nature-loving personality. 

Here are 10 unconventional bequeathals which can go a long way in shaping the personality of a child, and making him/her a more responsible, sensible, sensitive and mature individual.

1. Discovering the joy of reading: The child who reads today, will be an adult who thinks tomorrow. Introducing your child to the world of books and joys of reading in the growing years, can probably help them find their best friend, philosopher and guide for a lifetime. Reading can nourish their brains, and instill a sense of curiosity and quest for knowledge and information. A gargantuan library, be it in the form of physical books or maybe a kindle, can be one of the best assets that several succeeding generations can also benefit from.

2.  Initiating the love for music: The sapta swaras, when woven together, can produce the most melodious tunes. Inculcating love for music, helping them learn to sing or play an instrument, and more importantly, teaching them the right way to appreciate music and talented musicians, can provide them a calming escapade from their hectic schedules, and offer access to one of the most effective stress busters. It doesn’t really matter which school of music they may want to pursue – Hindustani, Carnatic or Western. End of the day, all forms of music are bound by the same thread of seven notes. If the love for music culminates into a passion for dance, that’s equally or even more rewarding. So, how about extending your CD collection to your children and their families further on?

3. Fostering art and craft: Be it a traditional form of art like embroidery or crochet work, Warli or Madhubani paintings, or making murals, or more modern pursuits such as quilling, paper craft, candy stick art, or beadwork, any form of art and craft fosters creativity and imagination and offers immense satisfaction. And definitely, every family will have certain hidden arts and artists, who need to pass on the talent to their younger family members, so that the legacy can continue.

 4. Encouraging philanthropy: The joy of giving can only multiply if we ensure our children understand the need to care for the needy, and provide for them in as many ways possible. Though companies and hence, employers, these days are becoming more socially responsible, what could be lacking is the personal touch.

So, take your child to a local orphanage or home for elderly, and initiate the practice of offering food, clothes, books, and other items of utility to the inmates. We need to ingrain the fact that these are individuals who are not less-privileged in any way, but are those with immense potential and dreams, who only need the means to fulfill their aspirations, may be in the form of money or valuable guidance and moral support.

5. Building a connoisseur’s paradise:  Old is gold and will always remain so. Few decades ago, many of us and our parents or grandparents loved collecting rare stamps, coins, photographs or paintings. Whenever someone would pay a visit, maybe an old acquaintance or a distant relative, we would find great pride in showcasing our repertoire. However, the current generation of kids rarely display such inclination or enthusiasm. Perhaps the advent of internet or technology consumes their mind and mental pace to an extent, that there is less physical room for accumulating and storing such assets.

 6. Preserving antiques and family heirlooms: Can you ever find in the local bazaar or the virtual e-marketplace, the vessel in which your grandmother made her signature kheer, or the ancient bell that hung in the courtyard of your father’s home in his native place? In most of the cases, the answer would probably be no. Certain things, like wine, become worthier with age. And our family heirlooms and antique pieces are no exception. The gap however, arises when our progeny fails to perceive value in such objects because they perhaps do not know how precious these collectibles are, both in terms of monetary value, and as a souvenir.

7.   Instilling the need for spirituality and meditation: One of the saddest ironies in today’s fast-paced, mechanical life is that we try to discover everything around us, except our own selves. What does it take to take a moment, sit down and pause, and dwell on our thoughts? Most individuals, especially children and teenagers, are trapped within walls of peer pressure, advices (some irrelevant or unsought) and an overload of information on the Internet. If they fail to wake up to their inner voice and calling, they may end up in the wrong professions and living someone else’s dream.

Let us introduce our scions to the universal force that binds all of us, to the ways by which we can reach out to the Almighty, share our concerns with Him/Her, and find a pathway to peace and equanimity.  This could help them identify their strengths and weaknesses, choose careers that are aligned to their talents and aptitude, be unruffled by constant challenges or any negative feedback, and remain grounded to their roots, so as to achieve their goals and reach for the skies.

8. Handing down cherished memories and the Family Tree: Not sure how many of you would agree with me, but black-and-white pictures of our parents and grandparents, the ancestral home, the well and cow shed in the backyard, the paddy fields and plantations, have an unmistakable charm. Why lose it to hi-tech scans and personal drives of laptops? Why not print them (if negatives are available), paste them in albums, write down catchy and meaningful captions, and pass it over to the youth of tomorrow? This could help them recall and relive those occasions, appreciate and preserve some of the practices, and maintain tradition and culture.

9. Sharing traditional lip-smacking recipes and culinary secrets: The secret ingredients that go into the chhole prepared by your favourite aunt, the recipe for making perfect modaks for Lord Ganesha, or the tried-and-tested method for making melt-in-the-mouth Mysore Paks… does anyone know these culinary secrets? This is possibly the only way families can ensure that the taste of the quintessential Dadimaa ka Khaana lingers forever, not only in the minds of kith and kin, but also on their tongues. This may also ensure that the nutritive value of food is well-preserved, and the body gets the required nourishment, in a world that is increasingly dominated by fast foods and crash diets.

10.Creating the urge to protect nature and the environment: If we closely examine our surroundings, environment and nature, we could comprehend the pressing need to maintain the ecological balance, use natural resources sparingly, and conserve every drop and aspect of Mother Nature. Depleting forest areas, climate change and global warming, receding water levels, and increasing pollution in air and water, may suffocate those stepping into adulthood few decades later.

So, the answer lies in acting now, before the situation bommerangs into a global crisis. Let us bequeath the strong urge to protect our natural resources, and prevent further damage to the environment, to our children, so that they grow into socially responsible and sensitive human beings.

And after a long blogpost, here is a short disclaimer. The purpose of penning down this blog was to share some of the ways by which we can help our successive generation, learn from and preserve the past, sustain their present and succeed in their future. Feel free to add on to your own list of bestowments. The list is inexhaustive and options are raised to infinity, if only we look at the world after taking off the glasses tainted with materialism, possessiveness, and constant comparison and competition.

Good luck and God bless!!!

Preeti Iyer

http://preetypoint.blogspot.com/

Baap Baap Hota Hai : Freaky Fridays weekly blog

Yesterday (27th Feb, 2019) was a Red Letter Day in my historic life. Our little bundle of joy , Miss Aaria Iyer , made a grand entry at 1:16 pm into this world. It was truly historic as it came a day after the Balakot air strikes. My friend Yosha asked me if we are keeping the child’s nickname as BALAKOT. While I loved his creativity, we already had a nickname – PEANUT. My creative wife had decided this name as soon as we figured out she got pregnant. Aaria was the size of a peanut in her first scan. Both me and wife are extremely impatient Indians in general and we like to keep things simple. We did not have the patience to think of another nickname and confuse the world. Our 4 year old niece Aiko had already started calling her Peanu. We were scared of her as she would ask a zillion questions and not stop till we gave a logically satisfying explanation as to why we changed Peanu’s name to Balakot. Both of us were too busy in the labor room since the past few days and if she asked any thing about Balakot, we were scared to say #Idon’tknow .Therefore ,we decided to continue with Peanu. This is a very strategically important decision for our family as it has serious implications on the geo-political climate in our family,relatives ,friends and other neighboring nation states. It would impact macro-economic parameters like inflation (of balloons as all future birthday parties may have a customized “peanut” written on it which increases cost) , cost of stationery purchased (a few pictures of a peanut would need to be pasted in diaries, books etc. when the kid asks what is peanut) , but we decided that it would stay this way come what may!!!

To provide some rock solid support, we had our amazing sister in law “Beat Yesterday Preethy” playing the “Dula” role throughout. A Dula is a mentor, counselor, physiotherapist, masseur, coach all rolled into one who will stand with the pregnant mom and ensure she has physical, mental and emotional support . The Western countries have a professional Dula. Due to tight finances, we decided that Beat Yesterday Preethy would be our makeshift Dula (like how Sehwag was made to open the batting in Tests despite never having played cricket before as an opener).

Like Sehwag, Beat Yesterday Preethy killed it in her new role as a Dula. I strongly feel she should stop doing what she does currently and make this her profession. She works as Director of a startup. We made her work from home.. Or rather work from cradle (cradle = Apollo Cradle). I had the privilege of listening to her superb con calls which she keeps having with her team. Yesterday, in a con call where in she had to give a monthly update to her bosses, she started off with an amazing one-liner.. “Starting with the update on our monthly newsletter..which has not been happening since last few months…

” I couldn’t stop laughing . Why give an update on something which doesn’t happen. These corporate updates I tell you…

Beat Yesterday Preethy has got her name because the sticker on her phone says “Beat Yesterday “. It’s an apt name for her as the look on her face always reads “Beat everybody.. Beat yesterday, beat today, beat Hari, beat Ashwin (husband), beat team, beat bosses “. But..Jo bhi Ho.. The delivery wouldn’t have been as smooth if not for my sister-in-law.

After looking at my sister-in-law’s dedicaton, I decided that I will do whatever it takes to be the best dad ever. One of my biggest weaknesses is I sleep like a log. When I sleep, I literally go deep into the deepest layers of the troposphere, stratosphere and ionosphere. And it’s difficult to wake me up easily. I promised my wife I will not allow this once Peanu is born.

So the first night, Peanu decided to sleep, I confidently told my wife – ” Baby, kuch bhi help chahiye toh bas ek baar mera naam Lena.. I will immediately wake up and help up” Saying this, I slept at 10 pm. In my first dream as a dad, I dreamt of me waking up at the first call, helping out and earning qaabil-e-taareef from my wife.

Suddenly , I woke up. I thought I had a bad dream as I could hear my wife shouting ” Hari !!! Hari !!!” When I woke up, I saw my wife staring at me furiously. There was a pillow lying next to me. The nurse was beside her. I was about to explain my dream to my wife but she cut me off “Hari, all this empty talk of waking up on calling your name won’t do any good if you don’t walk the talk. I called your name 10 times as I wanted the feeding pillow. I have thrown my pillow on your face but that also has had no effect. The nurse got scared that I was shrieking hysterically and she came and offered me the feeding pillow. Shame on you!!!”

I looked at the clock. It was 1.30 am. Sheepishly, a song started playing in my mind

” Dula ka role baap ke bas ki baat nahi,

Baap ka role side actor hi Sahi,

Bacche ki real lifeline maa hi hai,

Kyunki….

baap baap hota hai… baap baap hota hai ”

Jai Hind